DEPRESSION (SPOKEN WORDS Poetry)

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DEPRESSION (SPOKEN WORDS)

I am fine

Lies, all lies because I am not fine.

And yes I’ve lost hope and faith and love. All that’s left are lies. This is an obsession with the dark

Depression is a disease that is no respecter of status, background, age, bank account, 

What, and what not. 

For even with houses and cars, billions and superstardom, stage lights and cosmetics, the silent monster works its wreck on people pulling them to the extreme option of Suicide.

On the other hand, it works with Poverty, hunger, lack, empty bank account, unemployment, broken relationships, unhappy marriages, and distance from God. 

When you say ‘Hello God’ and the cluster of committed sins come facing you boldly.

The world is an audience set up just to applaud the ups and never the downs, the successes and not the failures. They are never interested in the hidden brokenness and failures that form the soil upon which we stand. That same soil is sinking and they seem not to notice. For who cares? Do they? I bet they don’t.

They say, Keep up, be strong, you can do it, hold on, keep on, and keep on keeping on. But words are easy to say, aren’t they?

Then there is the struggle to keep up with a smile. Oh smile! How deceptive you are. For when you say ‘I’m fine’, you actually mean ‘I’m sad’. When they think you are swimming, you are actually drowning 

Depression is like the empty flesh which you try to cover with clothes, fashion and style.

So you write a script for the world to watch and act every line out with so much mastery.

You master the art of lies and pretense because you seek the love and acceptance of the world

Because that’s what the world loves to see – the beautiful, bold and successful

But you have become like the white sepulcher, beautiful on the outside but rotten on the inside

The truth is you are not fine. You wear a mask of smiles that hides the pain and shame that you feel

Brethren, there is a thin line between faith and depression.

When you say I am fine because we see a God who is able to make things fine, that’s faith. For faith is seeing God as real as He is in your situation

Don’t say fine when you can’t see him

Don’t say alright when you are not right with him

The darkness pulling you on the inside like a deep dark sea in which you drown daily; A sea of doubts and hopelessness. And you let yourself drown because you have lost every sense of restraint.

No ray of hope, you just can’t explain it.

They ask how you feel

You say you can’t explain it.

They think you are mad, maybe you are

You need help but you don’t know how.

You want to cry for help but you are stuck in your throat tracks. You keep it to yourself. No one will understand even if I try to speak.

You mutter the name JESUS. At first it seems like nothing happens.

Try again, JESUS. This time your being is aware of the name, aware of his Being.

Try again, JESUS. He is hope, author and finisher, beginning and end, light in the darkness, brightness of the morning, way maker, ocean divider, deliverer, joy, and prince of peace.

Depression is that feeling of wanting to let go because that is seemingly the best option.

Wanting to breathe but finding no air. You hear voices in the head, telling you it’s time to let go of life. This life is not yours to live, take it away. Suicide rings in the mind like a merry song.

But who says you are not fine, YOU

Who says you are not capable, YOU

Who says you cannot make it, YOU

YOU are the greatest challenge you have to deal with

So get up and be YOU. Do YOU

Because YOU are beautiful, bold, strong, loved, encouraged, lifted, transformed.



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