FAITH - MY SIGHT

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On that fateful day, I had only two thousand naira (which I had withdrawn as the last cash in my account) left in my purse with some change of about two hundred naira. I was calculating how far that amount would carry me through the month which was nothing close to its end when the next salary would be paid. I had earlier prayed in my heart that God should provide any way, anyhow. I mentioned to Him how He could just prompt my boss to give me some tip but this did not look like it would be answered because the atmosphere at work had been sort of unfriendly and toxic.

So when my boss called me into his office later in the week and I hurriedly went to respond. He asked me if I had one thousand naira. Without thinking really, I said, “Yes sir!” He told me to give it to his driver. I went back to my seat and brought out my purse to give the driver the money. At this point, I came back to myself. Now I had just N1,000 note left for transport and whatever little expenses that may come up. Telling some people I was broke would sound unbelievable. I continued hoping for a miracle. Anyhow I would survive, I thought to myself. The fear of borrowings and debt was a scare (that story is for another day). I was craving a good treat the newly opened mall opposite my office but I knew better than to yield. I quietly tucked in my cravings.

I got home that night to see my boss' chat on whatsapp saying that he was sorry didn't reimburse my one thousand naira but that by Monday (it was a weekend), he would multiply it. I was excited and somehow counted it a privilege for my boss to have asked me for money. The multiplication clause gave me enough excitement and increased my hope because I believed him.

On Monday, there was no show; he didn't act like he remembered his promise. I faced my work, how was I to ask him to give me back my money, at least he promised. Anyway, I still believed he would give me despite all.

This struck a chord in my spirit. Was it because I could see him that made me believe him so much? Yes, I knew that his capacity to give was beyond doubling or tripling of a thousand naira. I believed him - a man! One who could still fail, one could forget because of troubles of life or maybe strain on business, one who could fall ill or worse still even die - I still believed.

Why did I believe? I could see him, I knew him (at least his ability and financial capacity), he also promised.
But why am I not like this with God my maker? Is it because I don’t see Him or even know Him? I’ve read and heard His promises but I do not believe them just as He has said them.
While I waited and still wait for my boss to fulfill his promise, I still believed.

God help my sight and forgive stiff-necked unbelief. It really must hurt You that I don't believe and trust. I even failed to see the other way in which you later provided for me. For your ways are not my ways, neither are your thoughts anything like mine for the height between the heavens and the earth is beyond comprehending how mighty you are.

How can I believe You if I can’t see you. For my real sight is faith, believing that you are real and that you are the Rewarder of those who seek You. If I don’t believe this, then I am blind. So help my sight Lord.


 Joy@Pentolifediary

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