SELF LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH

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They say if I dare to love myself then I'd be able to do certain things and be certain things.
They say if I count myself enough then I can do more than enough
They say if I can believe in myself then I can live truly

That self love helps me be more; do more
That it would erode the negative feeling boiling inside of me
That it would wade off the thought of suicide
Rehearsing it's ways and means in me

That if I love my self first, I could love others better
That I would be able to stand up for the things that I desire and deserve

I have tried all to improve my worth,
It's been a fight travelling through life
Seeking relevance and love
Yet met with feelings of discouragement, depression and hate
It's become a fight put up with a mask of love for self
but!
Deep down is rooted the seeds of inferiority complex, sense of failure, distrust and hate.

But I say that self love is never enough for how do I keep loving a self that is always prone to do my No when I meant to do Yes.
And the self that rushes to do Yes when I meant to do No.
I find this a contrariwise thing that the things I want to do right always go wrong.

Self love that puts my WANTS before the NEEDS of another
That crushes others just to satisfy me

To love others as we love ourselves does not actually mean loving ourselves first before thinking others. Imagine being confronted with a situation where letting go of your want would mean saving the life of another.
Imagine how that loving yourself means a stumbling block to a perishing soul. Satisfying your self, your ego means that another would suffer hurt, pain, and loss when it was in our hands to avert same.

One day a teacher told me as a child that my name JOY means Jesus first,  Others second, Your(my)self last.  That was the commandment of Jesus. Matthew 22:35-40



#pentolifediary

Comments

Unknown said…
I learn again tonight... Inspiring
22 February 2020 at 15:09
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