Impact

It was early Monday morning. The rush to meet up with the morning bus was quite hectic. Just when I had settled down in the bus to catch my breath after the struggle to get a seat, a phone rang out so loudly that everyone turned to the direction of the sound. It was the young man sitting at the front seat. He searched his trouser pocket to get the phone and the moment he said, "Hello", the atmosphere changed. Foul smell everywhere. I looked around but there was no gutter or heap of rubbish on the road as the vehicle was in motion. Worse still, the breeze from the moving vehicle kept distributing torment coming from a human being's mouth on a Monday morning! But why? A look at this young man with his mouth closed was one that could make a random girl crush on him. What a disappointment! He looked really good at least  had a glimpse of him just before the bus came. I was even admiring his nice shoes that matched his safari suit. But now this? Every admiration ceased I ...

************** They say if I dare to love myself then I'd be able to do certain things and be certain things. They say if I count myself enough then I can do more than enough They say if I can believe in myself then I can live truly That self love helps me be more; do more That it would erode the negative feeling boiling inside of me That it would wade off the thought of suicide Rehearsing it's ways and means in me That if I love my self first, I could love others better That I would be able to stand up for the things that I desire and deserve I have tried all to improve my worth, It's been a fight travelling through life Seeking relevance and love Yet met with feelings of discouragement, depression and hate It's become a fight put up with a mask of love for self but! Deep down is rooted the seeds of inferiority complex, sense of failure, distrust and hate. But I say that self love is never enough for how do I keep loving a self that is always pr...

With struggling knees, bowed eyes,  cuffed hands, feet trembling, heavy lips, but heart tearing apart, my pen writes: I miss you Lord...  I really want to meet with you. I have tried to schedule a meeting with you time and time again but I am always in a struggle between my phone and the world around me. I want to meet you today but I can't find the appropriate dress to wear. I've put on a lot of weight from the junks offered by the world. I can't seem to find the right words to say to you.  So? ........ I don't think I can come face to face with you right now. My knees hurt because they have lost touch with the ground where they used to grind before you in flowing conversations. I would like to hear your voice again but the voices in my mind are too overwhelmingly loud. So could you increase the volume of your voice or rather will you calm this torrent rising in me? I would love to raise my hands to you but I am constrained by the chains of sinful pleasure...

The growing activities and challenges of life had given me so many reasons why the weapons were too heavy. There was a strain on my early morning communion, devotion and interaction. It was becoming time consuming. I was always running late. I had targets to achieve, deadlines to meet. We could interact later in the day. “ Oh the day is so filled with so many activities, I’m stressed out. I will lie down for some minutes and we could talk later ”. I could hear Him calling out to me, wanting my attention but I am tired. He should understand that I was human and it was only natural for me to get tired after a long day. After all, He said he pities me as a father does he child and that he knows my frame. “Oh it’s past 5 a.m! I’m late again already. “Good morning Lord, thank you for today. I need you to help me today. Thank you”. I thought I heard Him say something but He could still tell me on my way out. I need to catch up with the bus. So this routine of mine every morni...